Favourite quotes to ponder whilst enjoying your pint of Bartrams Beer
"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre frontal lobotomy" (Tom Waits)
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team or some nuclear weapons but at the very least you need a beer" (Frank Zappa)
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her" (W. C. Fields)
"Beer is living proof that God want us to be happy" (Benjamin Franklin)
"Corrupt politicians make the other 10% look bad" (Henry Kissinger)
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink, when they wake up in the morning that's as good as they are going to feel all day" (Frank Sinatra)
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders, I hate necks" (Steve Martin)
"Never trust a man who, when left alone with a tea cosy doesn't try it on" (Billy Connolly)
"Some one complimented me on my driving today, they left a note on the windscreen, it said parking fine" (Tommy Cooper)
"I hate people who think that it is clever to take drugs ... like customs officers" (Jack Dee)
"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived by the sea side" (Ken Dodd)
"I like my coffee like I like my women, in a plastic cup" (Eddie Izzard)
"I remember the first time I had sex, I kept the receipt" (Groucho Marx)
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree" (Spike Milligan)
"If you are young and drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind and make you fat, in other words turn you in to an adult" (P. J. O'Rourke)
"The first time I see a jogger smiling I'll consider it" (Joan Rivers)
"I must have a drink of breakfast" (W. C. Fields)
"If I had all the money I had spent on drink ... I'd spend it on drink" (Sir Henry Rawlinson a.k.a. Viv Stanshall)
"The piano has been drinking not me" (Tom Waits)
"You can't always write a note ugly enough to say what you want to say so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream" (Frank Zappa)
"Gabba Gabba Hey" (Joey Ramone)
